Our baby book -- which was consulted a half dozen times a day when She Who Shall Not Be Named was an infant and has been cracked exactly twice since the twins were born -- has some glaring deficiencies. For while there is a sub-chapter on nosebleeds, causes listed do not include Getting Head-Butted By Your Twin Sister. This barbarism is what passes for child care in America?
Murray is now officially more obnoxious than Elmo.
Our house now looks like something that should be featured on Hoarders, only instead of piles of old receipts and handbags, our goat paths wind through heaps of stuffed animals and Little Scholastic books.
It's been a year since my last movie review, and I don't really miss it. It hasn't hurt that very little has come out in the last 12 months that I've had any desire to see.
I'm going to punch the next person who Tweets/posts a Facebook update about the alleged death of Ronnie James Dio without citing a source more reputable than some Romanian metal blog. In the genitals.
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